(TW: Toxic abusive relationships)
Man, this book was hard to read. Not because it was bad. This book was phenomenal. I consider it one of the best books I've read all year. It was so relatable that I had to stop multiple times to collect myself. Frederica (or Freddie) loves her girlfriend, Laura Dean. However, Laura Dean keeps breaking up with her at the worst times, only to return some time later to worm her way back into Freddie's life. The constant hot-and-cold treatment not only damages Freddie's self-esteem, but it begins to create issues between Freddie and her friends. Her friends know that Laura Dean is not right for her, but they try their best to support Freddie when Laura Dean drags her down. All Freddie wants is for Laura Dean to love her, and it takes a crisis to make Freddie realize what a healthy relationship should be, and to decide who she should love more: Laura Dean or herself. Wow. Just wow. This book hit every single nail on the head for me because I went through everything Freddie did. Like Freddie, I was in an abusive relationship with a very toxic person. He did the same things Laura Dean put Freddie through. Cheating, manipulating, put downs, etc. You name it. It took three really amazing friends, and an equally amazing therapist, to help me realize that he was not right for me and to break the spell he had over me. Everyone, at some point, has gone through situations like this. Being told that they're not good enough, no one will accept/love you like I do, etc. Like Freddie and I, people who go through this need to realize that all those things are not true, and to learn how to break the cycle of abuse and say, "I deserve better." And most importantly, do it when they are ready to say "enough!", not when someone else says so. I realized that, and after some time of extreme self-care, I learned (and still am learning) how to create better boundaries, and surround myself with people who love me as I am. I've seen teens go through this, thinking that it's the end of the world because their significant other treats them badly, and tell them it's their fault they're treated that way. Victim blaming the abused. It does happen, no matter how old you are. Witnessing Freddie catch Laura Dean with other girls, manipulate her way out of guilt, and then manipulate Freddie again into taking her back was so painful to see. When Freddie finally gets the breakthrough she needs, you just want to hug and cheer her on when she finally tells Laura Dean how she truly feels. It's perfect and rewarding, and makes going through all the motions worth it. I felt such gratification as I knew exactly what Freddie went through, and like her, survived to tell the tale. Kudos to Mariko Tamaki for telling this amazing story. It honestly deserves a 5/5 from me. I highly recommend everyone to read this book, and to be there for their friend when they need them most. In addition, I want to leave you all with a motto that I live by: the most important relationship you'll ever have is the one with yourself. You decide how you want to live and how others treat you. As for my narcissistic ex, a friend and I found ourselves near his place of employment one day. We walked by, and gave it the finger. Petty, yes. Satisfying? Absolutely.
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Who am I?The Library Lady is a Young Adult Librarian and reviewer. She's also a music, anime, and film nerd. Archives
January 2024
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